Too Much Wit for Just One Quote

This was probably the most difficult assignment that I've had to do for this class. 

How on EARTH am I supposed to pick ONE Mark Twain quote? That's like trying to pick out one gigantic diamond for your picture perfect wedding ring when you're swimming in a pool full of gems of equal weight and size, just different enough in tiny ways to be appreciated on different levels, both initially when one first views it, and then later, after given thought you see it in a completely new light, sending different sparkles outward into your world... 
whoops, got carried away.
Anyway, it's impossible to pick one. 
I could go with the classic Twain-ism, a simple one-liner that is easy to read, easy to remember, and easy to smile at his easy genius. For example

"A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read."

Classic Mark Twain, the man who himself composed at least 2 of the most widely read "classics" of the past few generations. Typical.

Or perhaps, a satirical comment on society itself, that leaves more than just a smile on the readers face, but a thought placed in their head. Example: 

"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society."

Obvious cognitive shift. We were expecting a more literary second half of the quote that delved into how commodities and materials govern our lives and our status, but then he throws you for a loop and gives you the physical opposite. What a clown.

Mark Twain is also so well known and loved because of his personality.I can see him as being the "Juha of the USA," by the way that he is filled with quips of wisdom combined with bouts of hilarity and exaggerations, all rolled together with a one of a kind disposition. For example,

"I have been complimented myself a great many times, and they always embarrass me- I always feel they have not said enough"

His obvious ego is satirical and sarcastic, but it adds to the idea of his Juha-jokester persona. Also, cognitive shift and misdirection. How great.

Mark Twain was also a genius. He understood the world enough to make fun of it, like in my next example.

"where was the use, originally, in rushing this whole globe through in six days? it is likely that if more time had been taken, in the first place, the world would have been made right, and this ceaseless improving and repairing would not be necessary now."

What a timeless reflection on the state of the world that can be applied to any generation. That's why Mark Twain is such a classic- because he's such a classic. Redundant? Maybe. Repetitive? Possibly. But it's true- his quotes are ageless and always applicable. He's a fantastic humorist in the way that he can make his readers twist and turn their interpretations of his words to fit whatever state in which they find themselves. He makes smarter readers, which is a gift indeed. He rocks.

He also would be a really good teacher's assistant in this class, based on this quote about humor and how to properly tell a story: 

"To string incongruities and absurdities together in a wandering and sometimes purposeless way, and seem innocently unaware that they are absurdities, is the basis of the American art, if my position is correct. Another feature is the slurring of the point. I third is the dropping of a studied remark apparently without knowing it, as if one were thinking aloud. The fourth and the last is the pause."

Even Mr. Twain refers to the beautiful cognitive shift. Then it MUST be legit, right? 
Right.

I could take one person, living or dead, out to dinner, I would pick Mark Twain, and we would discuss just how greatly the reports of his death were exaggerated back then, and how accurate they were the second time around.