Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Library Lolz

I think I'm addicted to blogging. I was just deep into studying my Spanish vocab words, when suddenly  a thought popped into my head and I was unable to let it be swept under the metaphorical rug of my cranium. Like a hyperactive hamster in a spinning wheel, it would not relent. Yeah, out of all the metaphors in all the world, I chose that one. I needed to rush that was attained from putting finger tip to key, and my hands whipped open my computer and clicked my blog, incidentally now my number one visited site. I was given a blank sheet before I even knew I was done studying Spanish. 
Like I said, addicted. 
But, back to the thought that plagued me- the, as Vonnegut would say, "amber of the moment."
Something that gives me great joy, to the not-so-great joy of others, is pantomiming in the library.
I don't know why, maybe it's because I can't rely on vocal inflection to get my point across, but I find it completely acceptable and utterly necessary to over exaggerate every interaction with another person when confined within the walls of the Mary Coutt's Burnett Library. Just a moment ago, after waving to a friend, I pantomimed my goodbye as an epic scene as if I was losing her forever as she bravely walked weaponless into the ravaging battlefields of World War I, ne'er to return again.
Why?
Because it was funny.
I think, I probably just caused yet another disruption by breaking yet another cardinal rule of the quiet section. 
I'm notorious for that. Last semester I thought it was fun to find the loudest possible food to crunch on in the basement quiet-quiet section. My findings were:

  1. Baby Carrots - the more bites utilized to consume the better
  2. Granola bars - the extra crunchy kind that crumble into 10,000 pieces when you attempt to break them 
  3. Pita Chips- every chip you grab is yet another excuse to crumple the bag and create extra noise
  4. Whole apples. Large Red Delicious, if possible. 
  5. Super fizzy soda that hisses every time you open the cap
I haven't been allowed back down there this semester, if that tells you anything.
Actually, it just scares the living daylights out of me, and is always way too hot or way too cold.

So, is everything just 10x funnier in the quiet section because it's not allowed to break down into gut busting giggles? 
It's taboo...
like the obscene humor we were talking about earlier.
it's the forbidden fruit.

Ok I should really stop this blog before I compare laughing in the quiet section to the fall of man in the Garden of Eden.

Also, I should really get back to that Spanish homework.
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6 comments:

  1. UnknownApril 7, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    Sarah- you are hysterical! I love the way your humor comes out in your writing. I could not agree more with this blog post, everything seems to be so much funnier when you aren't allowed to laugh. I like your comparison to the forbidden fruit, I think there is definitely truth to that. If I ever see you in the library I will sure to make obscene gestures to grab your attention. Thank you for the comic relief!

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  2. UnknownApril 10, 2013 at 10:56 AM

    I really enjoyed reading this. What makes me jealous however, is that you somehow earned the status of not being allowed back. Certainly the goal is obviously walking the line- or so I thought- but clearly your admirable notion of the prize is to go so far as to effectively evict yourself from a communal area. Kudos to you for your bravery and selflessness in sharing these experiences with others. Although I am secretly disappointed that I was not invited to partake in your plot to undermine the study habits of young scholars, I do credit you with a unique and creative ability to unleash hell on the innocent victims who have found themselves in the cage that is the quiet section of the library. Best of luck in future endeavors. PS Might I suggest wearing an overly dramatic and distracting disguise such as an Amish outfit with full beard? Such an act may not break the rules but still aid in your overall goal.

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    Replies
    1. Sarah MurphyApril 16, 2013 at 7:45 AM

      The disguise offers an added distraction that I have not yet considered. That way it would be possible to elicit harm toward serious studying without the necessity of purchasing loud and obnoxious foodstuffs, or powering through a mimed interpretation of the Broadway show "A Chorus Line." The costume would create chaos simply through my presence, which if combined with the (look at post below me) poprocks, could turn the quiet section of the library into my playground.
      So, thank you David, and I have one final message.
      Look out, Finals 2k13. Look out.

      Delete
  3. RachelApril 15, 2013 at 1:11 PM

    This is great. I always enjoy reading your blogs, they are equally as addictive to read. I just can't stay away.
    If you plan to return to the quite section to plague its inhabitants with your noisy foodstuffs, sunchips may be a good option to let them know you laugh in the face of danger. I've found they have the loudest bag known to man. If sunchips aren't your bag (pun wholeheartedly intended), a can/pouch of tuna may be an acceptable alternative that will just as righteously assault your counterparts' senses (namely their sense of smell). Pop rocks are an obvious third choice.

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    Replies
    1. RachelApril 15, 2013 at 1:13 PM

      *And by quite I mean quiet.

      Delete
    2. Sarah MurphyApril 16, 2013 at 7:42 AM

      HOW HAVE I NEVER CONSIDERED THE POPROCKS OPTION?
      This changes everything. My only question now is if Kroger sells the noisy nuisances. Report to follow later.
      And tuna always applies.
      Always.

      Delete

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